dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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