i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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