so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
