dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
