i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
