Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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