Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
