I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
