Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
