She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
