Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
