I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
