The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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