He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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