I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
