alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
