Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
