hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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