Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
