I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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