I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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