Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
