Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
