They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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