you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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