is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
