I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
