Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
