...so i touched it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i out mim tonsoeep
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
