Your face is a jimmy john
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize