sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
