toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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