Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
