pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
