I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
