I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
