my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
