So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
