i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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