Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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