Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
