I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize