The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
operation have a gay friend backfired
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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