Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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