Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize