Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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