just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
