i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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