i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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