I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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