you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
