just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
