So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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