hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
