Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
