On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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