Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
look no pants
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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