My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
