Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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