College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
