I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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