Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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