Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
